The irreverent adult game maker Cards Against Humanity has purchased an island and renamed it Hawaii 2, in order to send each of its 250,000 “Holiday Bullshit” supporters a deed for a square foot, a map, and a small paper flag as a thank-you gift. (They will need to wait until they hear someone boast of owning land in Hawaii in order to chime in “I own some land in Hawaii, two!”.)
The map is not entirely accurate, as comparison to Google’s map shows.
Also questionable are the “Hawaii 2 facts” listed on the map:
- Named “best place to masturbate quietly” by Food and Wine magazine.
- Paul McCartney is buried here.
- Site of the world’s largest volcano.
- Home of the world’s longest intestinal parasite, Eupithecia orichloris [actually a Hawaiian moth]
- Hawaii 2’s chief export is honey mustard.
- Maine’s ultimate party beach.
- David Copperfield made this island disappear on live national television in 1995.
The new property owners are admonished not to harm the island, but are encouraged to plant the flag there. Alas, the flag of Hawaii 2 is of the seal-on-a-bed-sheet variety: a white field emblazoned with the crest of Hawaii 2 (a snow-covered shield depicting a pineapple impaled on an anchor, a lobster gripping what is apparently a surfboard, and a hat-wearing snowman on an island with drooping palm trees), above which, a ribbon saying HAWAII 2 (sadly missing an opportunity to call it HAWAII II) and below which, a pineapple surrounded by leaves and rays. Although a poor design for a flag, it would make a fine page in a coloring book.
But, wait! It’s double-sided! The reverse is printed with a fill-in-the-blanks template allowing the landowner to write their name and the date on which the flag was placed.
Vexillologically, it is an interesting example of a flag that is designed to be incomplete, inviting alteration before it is displayed.
The flag would also rank highly in any list of Silly Flags.
Portland Flag Association 